My Journey from Designer to a Guru

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So while other kids crammed Biology, I started observing / learning Art & Design.
PageMaker. Corel Ventura. Marriage cards. Pamphlets.

I was a high school kid doing paid design gigs in my small town by a DTP shop :)
My Mother & Father were surprised.

They’d say, “Beta, focus on studies. This is just hobby work.”
But to me it wasn’t hobby.
It was freedom.
It was expression.
It was meaning.
I wasn’t just designing cards.
I was designing my life, outside their system.

The Inner Search Begins

Side by side with design, another world opened up to me.
I started reading palms. Studying horoscopes.
Practicing Trataka—gazing at a single point until visions came.
Exploring Tantra with all its mystery and depth.
I had my first experiences of tunnel-light, vibrational states.
Moments of split witness of Turiya where time and self seemed to vanish.
These weren’t things I could talk about at school or with relatives.
But they became my hidden curriculum.

 

Falling in Love with Computers

Around the same time, computers arrived in India like visiting aliens.
I fell in love.
I taught myself C. Visual FoxPro.
Learned how databases worked.
Installed DOS manually before Windows even existed on most machines.
I’d get old copies of gaming, IT, and design magazines from the Kabadiwalas in Old Delhi.
Then I built my first software for a local shop.
Passed DOEACC exams with 85%+ grades—without coaching.
I taught myself.

 

School is a Failure

Let me say it clearly:
School didn’t educate me.
It tried to discipline me.
It didn’t nurture my questions.
It punished them.
It didn’t show me how to think.
It told me what to memorize.
It wasn’t preparing me for freedom.
It was preparing me for servitude in someone else’s plan.

Leaving Home, Seeking Freedom

At 18, I left Nainital.
Shifted to Delhi for my first “real” job.
Going to Delhi was like going to US that time, my friends said on phone, “oh you are doing so good.”
The HR Managers said, “Stay, you’ll grow.”
But I knew even then—
I wasn’t meant to settle.
I was meant to seek.

The initial 3 jobs were like frog jumping from a well to a pond to a river
In the 1st job I worked in a multimedia head office at South Delhi took teachers training in Visual Communication and Multimedia – expanding upto 30 diff softwares – really loved Macromedia Flash & Director.... both killed now...

 

In the 2nd job became Center Coordinator, taught double my age, some more than that BTech & MTechs, Teachers – Graphics & Web Design during the dot-com boom, Everyone wanted to rush to America. They were Mad… but many many of them moved and got job and go green card there… even after the 1999 crash... dot com bubble... I made good money with domains and website...

I didn’t applied, it was so easy for me that time.
I wanted to live my Devbhoomi Bharat, especially Uttarakhand.

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Refusing the Safe Options

In Arena Multimedia, 2nd time I got the appreciation as a ‘Guru’ out of my time I helped my many students with their portfolio and projects, once such student was an Air Hostess with erratic timings, yet she wanted to complete the last semester and didn’t had time as she was getting married, I taught her and helped her…

the good karmas always come back, after the final exams she came after 30 days and asked me why I am still here with the caliber I have… she said her close Mami Ji is Production / AV Dept Head at NDTV go there and meet... I have told about you…

Oh.... the office still in 2000s was awesome… the reception opposite wall was some kind of 3D type square designs I still remember, went to the up floor and a thin stairs more above it... a strange room, we chatted for 2-3 minutes, she was a knowledgeable Bengali lady, she told me I saw you r portfolio why you wanna join here… its better you join an ad agency… here we are restricted – font size, the ticker, the color everything is fixed in Tv channels… and at that time there was not much of creativity… so I accepted her advise…

My introducer, and close friends thought I was mad.
But I didn’t want to become a cog in their machine.
I wanted to build something of my own.

Freelance Hustle

So stars are strange and pre destined…
I worked with a Canadian company serving North American clients.
Passed 60 BrainBench USA certifications in 2 months.
I Refused Canadian permanent residency.
I didn’t want to escape my land for dollars again.
I wanted to belong here.
I taught motion animation to Art Directors at McCann Erickson World Group and did wonderful Big projects with Big Brands as a Freelancer. The Agency creativity, culture and ambience was awesome....

 

I started exporting Copper Tantra Yantras before it was trendy.
I wasn’t chasing a job title.
I was building my freedom.

 

The Money Conversation

Let’s talk about money.
I didn’t get rich by accident.
I earned when I need to…

as my whole mind set was and still is a ‘Hippi - Freebird’ without any use substance
Even in year 2000, I billed clients ₹10000 for a Single Web Page Intro Design in Flash to ₹1.5 lacs for an Interactive Corporate CD made in Macromedia Director and later in Macromedia Flash Programming. Most of you know it's Adobe’s Software but they were not initially. Adobe took over Macromedia...

And outsourced 3D Max work to others…
I did over 100 freelance clients by age 22.

I than built a mammoth online portal on Flash Animation & Graphics at the time one of top leader was FlashKit.com (Flash Kit was not mine, I sold out my portal; as per selling contract & NDA I cannot mention the exact name but it was in same line), Ran it as a webmaster for 2 years, but it was too time consuming and lot of projects in a Canadian Company I was working, freelance projects and social life that I have to sell it.

 

Meanwhile my work got featured in Adobe Asia Pacific Showcase in Year 2000.

I also started domain-selling side hustle and SEO for clients in World Rank / Global pages, Google was so easy to rank world wide then, as there was no country specific domains & divisions.

Money. Money. Money.

But what to do with, when everything is covered by the company itself...

Mobile Expense (it was something like Rs 24 outgoing and Rs 18 incoming). South Delhi & South Mumbai Flat Expense, Car Expense, Laptop Expense, Upgrade Study Expense, Food Expense, Bonus, Gifts all covered by company… you literally don’t have anything to buy.

Dollar salary used to be tax free, as you were bringing in Dollar in India a Golden Time for IT Industry...

But once you have enough,
money is just a number in someone else’s server.

Want to Change Career / Do side Hustle

Refusing the Safe Options

Why Living On Your Own Terms Matters
I had friends and even bosses who begged me to “settle.”
“Take the big agency role.”
“Get the Canadian PR.”
"Shift to the Headoffice in Denver"
“Buy the swanky car.”

“One of my college who I help in learning Software Testing / Debugging said 'Let me introduce to a Bengali Actress’s sister' she is my close relative, she don’t wanna act, she wanna do early marriage with a decent person, I saw her photo... she was more beautiful than her sister.”

 

Shiv… Shiv… Shiv…
The roopa ‘the maya’ taking test…

But I asked: Settle into what?
Into a life where my best years were spent building someone else’s dream?
Into golden handcuffs I couldn’t take off?

I chose freedom—even when it meant less predictable money.
Even when it meant risk.
Because freedom is life itself.

 

And then the BOOM happened

Feb 2002, I saw 8 days earlier whats gonna happen, infact I didn’t saw; I sketched
and it was not a chance, as it was having atleast 5 unique elements which happened, so just one could be a chance 5 cannot be…. I meditated and sketched like everyday… and kept in my drawer….

So everyday, I use to come and meditate for 30 minutes in a room, and then start work. I was experimenting with a new approach to Out of body meditation experience using Prayanama + Naad Yoga + Free Hand Paper Pencil with a Special Sound Software & Trance Tracks - Thanks to Napster and BrainWave Specific Frequency Generator Software for Brainwave

Suddenly in afternoon I heard the painful news what has happened, my face went red, heart raced, oh not this cant be true, further news descripted more, it matched… which what I sketched 8 days ago… searched the papers I could find that, rest all sketches were there in my table drawer….

 

One of my designer & personal assistant knew what I had sketched, she also searched room dustbins, main dustbins, draws & tables of all 30-40 employees but that paper went into thin air… asked the peons – they were clueless… and on top no one can generally come to my space and that too take out anything from my drawer…

 

confused & choked…

anyway we were sad for the people, but not very concerned about the happening... as in youth you are not really concerned with politics or religion, and especially if you are working Globally, these things don’t strike you inside...

 

But this shook me to the inside, I have seen future..
as I always told anyday in my life If I see a Ghost, ill leave everything, as then there is GOD

I have seen something supernatural again…
due to Bhoga my childhood Sadhna has gone….
I took a long long break…

 

✨ The Spiritual Break
Eventually the hustle, the clients, the urban noise—all of it started to weigh on me. There is a limit to how much you can sell, earn, deliver, impress.

Inside, the questions kept returning.
Why am I here?
What is the point of all this work if I’m not growing inside?
How much money is enough?
I watched colleagues burn out, chasing promotions that left them empty.
I watched friends lose health, peace, and marriages to career ambition.
I saw seniors whose eyes were hollow from years of polite corporate slavery.
I didn’t want to become one of them.

So I did something society calls foolish:
I walked away.
I quit the corporate track in the Prime.
Paused freelance work.
And left on a long spiritual pilgrimage.

🏔 The Himalayan Blessings

I wandered alone through the Lower & Middle Himalayas.
Haridwar, Rishikesh, Himachal, Nepal.
Sitting by the Ganga, watching her flow endless and patient.
I walked to Gorakhnath Ji’s Dhuni.
Did meditated & sadhna at Vasuki Tal.

Swam with the Skulls & Bones at Roopkund Tal.
I further visited Gomukh, Bhojvasa, Dunagiri, Patal Bhuvaneshwar, Gangolihat, Kasar Devi, Jageshwar and 100+ sacred spiritually charged spaces for meditation & tantra.

 

Thanks God,
there was no mobile phone,
I didn’t go there to post selfies or tick off spiritual “destinations.”
Sometime I slept in ashrams, in caves, in jungle tree branch.

I went there to vanish into silence.
To let the mountains scold my ego.
To let the rivers wash my restless mind.

 

I do have 2-3 photos from Himachal pilgrimage, which a foreigner clicked and gave me..

 

🌄 What the Shiv Yogis Taught Me
I learned that life is not about accumulating.
It’s about emptying.
Not about becoming someone in the world’s eyes,
but about seeing clearly who you really are.
I saw so many people who owned nothing but the sky above them—and yet seemed wealthy in peace.

I realized I didn’t want to “succeed” by the world’s measure, if it meant failing myself.
And slowly, quietly, something broke in me.
Or maybe something opened.

 

💠 Returning Home Changed
When I returned home from the Himalayas, people said:
“So, done with your holiday? Back to normal now?”
They didn’t understand that I was not the same person who had left.
I didn’t want to be part of the corporate rat race.
Didn’t want to teach only to mint money.
Didn’t want to “scale up” for the sake of ego.
I wanted to work—but only if it served my purpose.
I wanted to teach—but only to share real knowledge.
I wanted to earn—but only enough to stay free.

🌿 Social Work / Seva Service
When I returned to Uttarakhand, I didn’t just sit around chanting Om.
I put my earnings, efforts, heart into social work.

 

❤️ Building a Family, Choosing Simplicity
Eventually I married—a true Shakti in my life.
A real Interesting story of getting married late….

 

We built a simple home setup.
Bought land so we’d never pay rent.
No bank loans.
No credit card debt.
No stock market addiction.
No crypto gambling.

We live simply.
Because how much can you eat?
How many clothes can you wear?
How many rooms can you sleep in at once?
Simple living. High thinking.
That became our motto.

🎓 Training and Teaching

In these years, I personally trained over 80 students.
Over 100+ final year students did Visual Design internship under me from various universities

Taught them real, employable design and multimedia skills.
Helped them get placed in jobs.
Not some overpriced certificate mill.
Real training.
Human mentorship.
Ethical business.
Because what good is knowledge if you hoard it?
What good is experience if it dies with you?

🌅 The Ashram Youth Karyashala Dream

But even that wasn’t enough.
A deeper dream kept tugging at me.
I wanted to build a Shiv Karyashala Ashram in Rishikesh.

Not a hotel.
Not a spiritual Disneyland with rooms and Wi-Fi yoga.
Just five simple cottages.
A dorm for youth.
A place to meditate, heal, learn.
A space to study Kundalini Yoga and Tantra.
To learn multimedia, design, SEO—skills to earn with dignity.

Where someone with mobility challenges can learn video editing and work from home.
Where a confused youngster can find purpose.
Where the Broken Souls or Fallen Angles can learn & restart...

 

Of course, land in Rishikesh isn’t cheap.
And who Donate lands nowdays for Youth Development Karyashala, atleast noone donated me :)
Even a modest 10-naali plot is ₹2 crore, but by Shiva's Grace I bought it from my own personal savings.

Now the construction, even in stone, mud and bamboo, will further cross ₹1 crore.
Running costs add up.
But dreams aren’t supposed to be easy.
They’re supposed to be true.

🎥 The New Phase Connecting to all of you

Even as I worked on this vision, I didn’t stop creating.
I started a YouTube channel, and got lot's of love.

Not for viral fame, but for seekers who wanted depth over entertainment.
Began writing books on Shiva Tantra, Shaivism, Astrology, Numerology.
Long videos. Detailed teachings.

Because if even one person finds clarity, it’s worth it.
I registered a spiritual trust to make the work sustainable.
Launched Project Nidram to help people with sound healing, meditation, better sleep, easing anxiety and phobias.

🖌️ Still Designing, Still Guiding

Today at 46, I still do design work.
But not the way I used to.
Now I focus on analysis, concept, strategy.
The young freelancers I work with do the illustrating.
They learn.
They earn.
I stay mentally sharp, but don’t waste hours on what they can do better.
Because true mastery is about lifting others up, not standing alone at the top.

🕊️ Why This Matters
People ask me: Why not just retire?
Why work at all?
Because work keeps you alive.
Purpose keeps you sane.
Service keeps you humble.
We are not born just to eat, sleep, work, play, reproduce.
That’s what animals do.
We are born in Manushya Yoni—the human birth, the rare chance to seek higher truth.
This is the lifetime to ask:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What is my Dharma?

⚡️ My Tip to Young Designers and Freelancers

If you’re reading this and you’re 20, 25, 30—maybe frustrated, confused, restless—this is for you:

Don’t let school kill your questions.
Don’t let friends tell you to “settle.”
Don’t let bosses decide your worth.
Learn your craft.
Earn enough to be free.
Then use your freedom for something bigger than yourself.
Make money—but make money second or third.
First, find your purpose.
Because at the end, no one remembers your bank balance.
They remember the light you passed on.

What more could I ask of Param Shiva?
Freedom. Seva. Karma Yoga. Passing on the Light.

 

May my isht 'Bholenath' gives his Blessings to You & Your family...

ॐ नमः शिवाय (Om Namah Shivaya)

~ Guru Aum Sushant